I’ll start by saying you should all be glad and thankful I have few filters and no sense of shame whatsoever, otherwise entertainment at my expense would be nonexistent.
People like me shouldn’t be allowed to own appliances. There’s a reason why I’ve gone through three blenders, two vacuums and one washer people.
I lived in Mexico until I was 26 years old, and in all that time I never owned or operated a dishwasher. Fast forward to present day. You know, Canada, first world country and all that shit.
We have a dish washer. And it makes me very happy.
I don’t particularly enjoy doing the dishes (and blame my mom for it *cough*), so it was a joyous time when I discovered my house came with this amazing contraption in which I could shove a day’s messes and be done with it. Fun times.
Never mind that my dishwasher dates from the paleolithic era and requires more energy than a small particle accelerator, it is still my baby. I may or may not sing lullabies to it at night. Whatever.
So before I continue with my story, let me remind you I had never owned or operated a dishwasher in my life, ok? So direct all your scoffs and judgement to someone who actually deserves it, ok?
Today I noticed what appeared to be a bit of scummy residue underneath the trap. Gee, I wonder if there’s a way to open that thing, I pondered. As in… I had never. ever. in four years. opened the trap to clean it out. Ever. Ever.
Husband came and helped snap it open, and holy fuck. People, it was horrible. HORRIBLE. There was fuzz and crap and wet leftover foods and gray sand and smells and and… I can’t… even…
In what is quickly becoming a trademark exclamation around here I was all gasping and covering my mouth in horror and going I can’t, I can’t… can’t what? Can’t at this moment find the appropriate words to describe assertively the degree of revolt and disgust I feel towards what I am witnessing, that’s what.
Dude, we’ve been eating from plates washed in that shit for FOUR DAMN YEARS.
And this is why if you have ever had a meal at my house you totally owe me. I did strengthen the shit out of your immune system, you know.